Isaiah 62:4 No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah,and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
I am a heat seeking missile heading straight for Your heart. Nothing interrupting, nothing in my way, everything set aside to get to You. I want the whole of You inside the whole of me, fused together with no inbetween, so hold nothing back from me. Cover my face from the glory of You if need be, but don’t hold me in the cleft of rock, for this is too much distance; too much to satisfy this ache, this yearning, this burning for You. Everything else can fall away, dissolve in the weight of Your presence, as Your deep speaks to my deep; the places that nothing else touches, no one else reaches. If I’m to be obsessed with anything, let me be obsessed with You. If I’m to be addicted to anything, let me be addicted to You. Because You make my ugly beautiful; my distorted longings and desires pure as I point them towards You; Your beautiful song bursting with a creative ‘Yes!’ over all that I am, bringing me in closer and closer to You each time.
If You didn’t give me Your heart, I’d be content with Your feet. But You bring me eye-to-eye with You, placing Your hands around my tender heart to lead me from that place. You tell me that everything You have is mine – everything, with nothing held back. That You do not give me less than a human husband would; that you do not withhold, do not hold onto control, do not give Yourself to me in pieces. You tell me the truth that I have always been Yours all along and so the ones who left? That I was never theirs to leave anyway. I’ve always been Yours. And so You bring me in close and expand my vision of You.
You woo me over and over, asking ‘Why would you want a small man when you can have a big God?’. You tell me of Your covenant to me and of this being our honeymoon; of how I am beautiful to You without the adornment of husband, holidays, homes and all the things this world chases after. From this place of Your fierce desire, Your encompassing claim and protection, I breathe, soften in the safety and long to give You everything; for all that I am to be Yours, for all that I have to be Yours. My vow to You, moved by Your vow to me, shown as faithful over time. I give You my heart, my future, my dreams, my losses. My daily steps, my bills, my money, my minutes; knowing that You are my Lover and Husband, my war cry, my victory song, my morning sigh and my goodnight kiss.
Three years ago, I lay at Your feet broken. You took me in as my Goel – my kinsman redeemer – and there is never a time when I am away from You. I feel Your gaze on me in my waking and sleeping, my tending and cleaning, Your intimate attention never leaving me, because we know this beautiful place that we have together, just between You and I. And so I only have eyes for You, only have breath for You, only move and live and be for You. Just keep me with You. Only with You.