No matter what, I return to You. Like the waves returning to the shore, like water to the ground, I always return to You. Like a small child who knows the safety of the arms in which she is held, I come running for You. Because You show up every time. Every time. In pain, in struggle, in the darkest of nights when everyone else sleeps, when the aching is deep, You are still awake, vigilant, my attentive Father. My Mother too.
When I berate myself, when blame comes my way, deserved and undeserved, Your warmth and delight is all I feel. It fills my vision so all I can see and feel is You.
My flaws and failings and shame can’t stay close, demanding to be heard, because Your love comes flooding in. Dissolving the darkness, pulling my gaze back to Yours, holding me there, where I just see You. Only You.
You are the safest place I know. You know that I need respite and relief from myself and You are so gentle. You pull me into You, where there is no striving or struggle, no insecurity, no demands, no evaluation. You surround me and fill me so nothing else can come close and You show me who You are, how beautiful You are and how completely I am loved and I need nothing else.
Let me just stay in this place. In my every day life. In my walking life, my working life, my cooking and bed-timing life. Just with You. Because nothing else comes close to this.