Jesus,
Come sit with me. Here in the quiet. I need You and can barely find words, I’m just bruised and disillusioned. There’s been hurt around me these past days and I’ve felt too much of it. Just let me feel You with me because I need to feel You more than I feel all of this. Let me see it all through Your eyes, because mine are dimly weak, disappearing light leaving my vision faltering.
And here You are. Here in my kitchen, me on my stool, You on Yours, nothing inbetween. No words, no hurry, just breath. Music moving between us, my heart bending to Yours, opening to You where I’ve closed to the pressure.
And You reach, taking my heart in Your hand, cupping me in your palm, squeezing to the rhythm, pumping steadily, taking over, taking over the work when I am too tired to find a way through. You beat for me. You feel for me. This steady heart-rhythm between us, no words, no direction, just You here with me. I loosen and relax in Your hand, tension turning liquid as I soften and yield and exhale and move to You again.
Life and love flows down Your hand and into my heart, warmth travels through my veins; I move in response to Your hand, and I love moving with You, giving myself over to You. This is the time before thinking and knowing and right and wrong and all that the Fall brought with it’s slurred hesitancy and thick confusion. Bringing me back to You, out of my head and back to Your heart.
You lead, Your eyes never leaving me, Your hand always on me, an outflow of love pouring between us. I love this submission to You, come alive in this adoration of You, because there is nothing to fear with You. All You ever do is empty Yourself out, empty yourself out as You love…You love…You love…over and over, all for the sake of your Bride, for my returning to You.
And this is how I can move through this struggle around me, by staying tethered to You; remaining here in Your palm, heart pumping in Your hand, my life support, pulsing through my words, my hands, my movement. Me as an extension of You, where I was always meant to be.