My Love,
I know how terror has tracked you, chased after you, laced its lingering fingers through every conversation and circumstance. Pulling in the undertow; a clawing tide, drawing you into it’s cold fist with every word and move, gripping, tightening. Sliding, shifting-shape, always in disguise, never in clear view.
Skating quick on wafer ice, you’ve felt your life balancing precariously on an ever decreasing island, working fast and hard to dart the inevitable dark waters coming to swallow you. Keeping moving, keeping moving, to avoid the crashing doom coming for you. Ordinary mishaps flooded with foreboding of something bigger on the way, like a small twig signaling the avalanche to fall, that’s been hanging and waiting and groaning for years upon years.
You’ve been chasing and clutching and grasping for a good life, for things that feel like surfacing, like a life-pulled-together, just to feel safer, more confident that you really are outrunning the inevitable; outwitting what’s in store and falling forever over you like a creeping shadow.
My Love, I’m so keenly aware of how much you have carried without you even realising the boulders on your back. The sadness and grief that has been handed to you, that has just been the fabric of your life. I have sat with you in the dark, never leaving you alone, growing this love between you and I, until you begin to lean into Me as your Husband. Allowing Me to gently stir the sorrow to the surface, where I can breathe it in and swallow it down, taking it all into Me. Because this is my consuming love for You. I will do whatever is required, whatever the cost, just to lift it all off and pull you closer into Me; where beauty and joy can cover and adorn you.
Remember how I said I want to bring healing for you, deeper and wider, if you’ll give your permission? To have freedom instead of dread soaking through your bones? And you said ‘yes’ to me with your trusting, open heart.
And so I am gently putting My finger on your fast fleeting thoughts, pointing out the ones which are the doorway to dread, the doorway to death, darkly desolate. I am lifting them to the surface so that you and I can look at them together and I’ll pour My truth over them, like smooth oil soaking into the cracks of your aching heart. So that you can breathe deeply again, taking Me into the loneliest crevices of you, into the places that formed their shape in the youngest days of your life. Back when chaos and loss slid in and whispered their stories, your unwanted companions, pretending to be the authors of your life.
I want you to know deep in your chest that it’s My goodness, always My goodness, that chases after you, never doom; that it’s My mercy, always my mercy, that pursues you, never dread. These are the beautiful hounds of Heaven close on your heels, not the teeth of Hell.
And you. I took you in wholly as My own. My wrists mark My covenant of love to you through scars of nails. And your wrists mark your echoing love back to me, engraving Me with ink across your skin. You gave yourself to me and you etched yourself as Mine. And you know that My name is Life. And so you are a lover of Life. You are tucked under the arm of Life, nestled into the side of Life, being taken by the hand and led further and further into all the wild abundance of Life itself. Darkness and despair don’t belong with you and I, they have no place with you because you are with Me. You are Mine.
When you came weighed-down heavy with sadness and grief, I invited you to come and dance with Me, beckoned You to come, to come now, to just come and take My hand and move with Me. You couldn’t resist the warmth in My eyes and the smile playing on My face and so you took My hand and followed My lead and started to feel all that I am washing over and over you. Joy coursing, laughter cracking as I lifted away the shrouds; beauty and radiance falling all over you like butterflies landing. You raising your arms, lifting your head, stretched out and basking in it all, shaking off the unbelief, over and over, more and more. And I love watching you so beautiful and wild and free as you fall further into Me. This is how I made you to be, My Love.
You don’t have to chase after anything, Dear One. No need to grasp or crave or grab for anything. For every good thing is coming. Just rest in Me, feel My steady heart beating over you and enjoy watching Me transform everything, everything. Because every good thing is coming.